Being a stay-at-home parent is challenging, with constant responsibility and no breaks or set work schedules. A man has faced criticism for giving his wife a peculiar written “performance review” as a housewife, believing she needed to improve.
The man and his wife are parents to a six-year-old boy, and are also caring for his wife’s 13-year-old daughter from a previous relationship and his 15-year-old niece.
After an incident in which his youngest son used the pool without permission, the father accused his wife of teaching their daughter to blame and manipulate situations in her favor.
In a Reddit post, the man wrote: “My wife has taught the youngest that she can blame others for her actions to avoid consequences. She says that one of the teenagers will be punished without hesitation. She is definitely my wife’s favorite. I love her, but He’s becoming nothing more than an entitled brat.”
“Just as a mere example, my wife and I had an appointment that we both needed to keep. When we returned, it was apparent that the pool had been used. They are not allowed to swim while we are not home.”
“As the minor disclosed, ‘Mommy, I was in my room coloring, I never went swimming.’ The young people said that this was false, and she had also gone swimming, only the young people were punished, my wife refused to give the minor any consequences. Later I found her wet bathing suit hidden in the garage. My wife and I argue; I felt strongly that she needed to be punished for swimming and lying. After an unrelenting disagreement, I was silenced when she gave him even the slightest consequence. The lies, blame, and favoritism finally made teens behave understandably. Most of its consequences are achieved by giving more tasks. Specifically, the tasks that the 6-year-old has. I think they are so frustrated that they don’t even care when they verbally attack her mother after her unfair treatment of them. After all, they are already blamed and punished for things they don’t even do; From my perspective, lashing out gives them a release.”
The man expressed that he has had numerous disagreements with his wife. Rather than engage in another argument, he wrote a “performance review” for her, stressing the need for fairness and impartiality in her decision-making.
added, “I decided to write you a performance review as SAHM. Your areas that need improvement, well, there were many. But I mentioned how you need to listen better and stop being biased. Be fair in all your decisions and stop making rash decisions without considering all three children”.
“So it wouldn’t be a slap in her face; I gave her praise for her strengths in areas other than parenting. This would work better because I could organize my thoughts on paper without her intervening. It quickly failed, however. She was quiet for the first hour after I handed it in. Then she totally blew up on me, saying if we do this, she’ll get a private bank account and take half my weekly paycheck.She further said the review was abusive and a manipulative and sexist movement”.
The review was criticized as “condescending” by the post’s commenters, who agreed with the man that his wife needs to stop being prejudiced towards a child.
A comment on the post read: “The concerns you have are legitimate and urgently need a solution. But the way you did it is not healthy. Raising your children is not a project. You are not their boss; you are her husband and the father of her child. Giving her a performance review seems really condescending and, as she put it, manipulative.”
Another comment said: “She should be listening better, but really? A performance review? What kind of reaction did you expect? You’re treating her like a temp, not your partner. That was incredibly condescending.”
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